REVIEW: Women Don't Owe You Pretty by Florence Given

A short review of Women Don't Owe You Pretty by Florence Given.

The week before I read this book, I had a conversation with two of my oldest friends, and we spoke about what we think makes for healthy relationships, and what we expect from the people we date. Women Don’t Owe You Pretty perfectly encapsulated every feeling we had.

Florence Given gives voice to feelings and frustrations almost every woman has experienced in relationships. Her cleverly worded chapter titles are the first hint to what to expect from this book. It would be misleading to label it as “self-help” as that would convey the impression that it is just simply aimed at helping to “improve your life” or “find the bright side.” Instead, Women Don’t Owe You Pretty aims to offer an in depth analysis of what women accept as normal in relationships and about themselves. Only after this does Given then go on to make recommendations about what people should do differently. The language used is clever, and she uses memorable catch phrases throughout.

In the chapter entitled, “Life’s Short, Dump Them”, Given creates an almost perfectly worded few pages called: Stop Raising Him, He’s Not Your Son.” She addresses the expectation some women have that to be in a relationship they must take care of their significant others to an unhealthy standard. And she points out that compromising yourself for others is not true compromise; it’s self-betrayal. As Given emphasizes, women are socially expected to be “nurturers” and often date people who fulfill the role of someone requiring that care. This isn’t necessarily bad, but it means that we often don’t put in that energy to ourselves, and that’s where the problem lies.

“You are not his mum.

You are not his therapist.

You do not owe anyone that energy.

You owe that shit to yourself.”

As “Life’s Short, Dump Them” illustrates, each chapter has its own theme and title, making it easy to go back to specific parts of the book and reread in different circumstances. It is evident that Given has thought hard about each theme she feels important to include, with chapters on social media, body positivity, and marriage in the 21st century.

Given was inspired to write this book after going through and getting out of an unhealthy relationship of her own. She first put her feelings into art pieces on her Instagram, most of which end up in the book alongside the text. Her almost cartoonish artwork, depicting confident women in various states of dress alongside excerpts from the writing encapsulate Given’s style and inspiration perfectly.

She wanted to write down all the things she wished someone had told her at a younger age. At just 20 years old, she is a relatable and inspiring woman. She wanted to write down all of the things she wished someone had told her when she was younger. I recommend this book to all women but especially those who are just starting out in the world of romance. Personally, as a 20 year old just now figuring out the world, Given’s voice felt like my inner conscience speaking to me at a time I need it. I will reread this again and again for as long as I need before I no longer need to remind myself of everything she says. I am extremely excited to see what she does next. For now, I will continue to follow her on social media and feel her positivity and inspiration every single day.

5 STARS

Where to buy online:

https://www.waterstones.com/book/women-dont-owe-you-pretty/florence-given/9781788402118

Support your local bookshop and go in and buy it there if you can!