REVIEW: Conversations on Love

A short review of Conversations on Love by Natasha Lunn.

The 2020s is the age of introspection, and authors have not shied away from writing on every self-help topic imaginable. The one that I see the most: love. Authors of all ages are giving their take on love in the modern era, why we crave it, why we might not have it, why we need it. Natasha Lunn is one of these authors. 

In her bestselling book, Lunn interviews people on love, from psychologists to other authors, and she asks questions of them that she believes her readers need to hear the answers to. Interspersed with snippets from her own life, she tries to give us a well-rounded look on love. 

My biggest criticism of the book, which surprised me, concerns the interviews themselves. So many of the interviewees were just repeating the same adages on love that we have all heard already. If I read another sentence about how love can come at the most unexpected moment, I will throw the book across the room. Maybe one of the issues here is that she focused almost exclusively on other authors. Sometimes writers can say things in ways laypeople can’t, but sometimes it seems they are just trying to get the best sound-bite, something that might sound pretty on the page. There was a lack of authenticity when the interviewees and the authors spoke about love in a general sense.

Unsurprisingly then, the best bits came when the author and the interviewees spoke about their own lives and experiences. The facade of being ‘a writer’ fell, and I actually understood how the person truly felt. Looking at their own relationships and experiences, I feel like I learned more about who they were, and sometimes their experiences were completely different from their generic answers on love. 

The author’s own voice was really captivating. I actually would have preferred more of her own story, life, and feelings. She wrote about her life in such a raw way that I was able to see some of my own in it. Showing, not just telling, about love and relationships allows us to connect more with the author. There is a reason that Everything I Know About Love is a cult classic amongst women in their 20s. In her book Dolly Alderton shows us all her experiences, the messy ones, the sad ones, and the joyful ones. That quality to be able to bare it all is important in a book on love, and in the sections on Lunn’s life, she was able to do that fully.

I also was pleasantly surprised with the section on parenthood and how that changes romantic relationships. I initially thought that I would really struggle with the content in this section as a 24 year old single woman, but I actually did connect with it. Maybe not from the perspective intended, but from the perspective of the child - to understand better the sacrifices parents make in their relationship, with their friends, and how introducing the love of a child can alter other loves in life. I appreciated that a section that could have been alienating to a huge group of readers, wasn’t at all.

While this book won’t be one I plan on re-reading, and did not introduce any new or groundbreaking ideas, it did remind me that while love in my life so far has not been romantic, it doesn’t mean I have not experienced the kind of love I deserve. For a takeaway from a single read, that’s pretty good.

3.5 stars

Where to buy online: https://www.waterstones.com/book/conversations-on-love/natasha-lunn/9780241448748

Support your local bookshop and go in and buy it there if you can!